A Merciful Fanfiction for Smosh
by Shnekis
Summary: This is a Fanfiction for Smosh Fans who DESPISE Ianthony...well not really. It's just not Ianthony. Smosh, if you read this, I MADE THIS TO SAVE A FEW MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE FROM CREEPY SH** THAT WRITERS POST ...er...no offense, authors. Then again, this was a bit weird too. Oh well.


_This Fanfiction is inspiration from the many "Dramatic Fanfiction Readings" from Smosh. It is to give mercy to the poor souls of Smosh and Smosh Fans, who have had the traumatic experience of reading… Ianthony fics._ _To people who know my other fanfics, I'M SORRY I KEEP PUTTING OFF MY OTHER FANFIC! I'm actually a little surprised if you like it though, since now, practically everyone hates Frozen. (I like it, though I don't love it.) maybe it's just the Pairing._

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 **A Merciful Fanfiction for** **Smosh**

 **(A Random Smosh Day That Does NOT Include (Sexually Creepy) Sh!t)**

"SORRY ANTHONY, but I can't let you win Food Battle this year!" Ian practically cackled, almost evilly (because he kinda was). Anthony shot him a weird look. "…what the f**k? What did you do?" Ian rubbed his hands together, snickering as he explained, "I hired a secret assassin to murder you in your sleep last night, so you can't even participate! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" A long silence followed. Anthony slowly raised a finger in the air, in a sort of judgmental fashion. "You do realize I'm perfectly alive right now, right?" Ian opened his mouth for a retort, until he realized his (completely obvious) mistake. His expression changed. He whipped around and yelled "DAMNIT STEVIE! I TOLD YOU TO STICK A KNIFE UP HIS *** LAST NIGHT!" He grabbed a 10 ton bucket of bricks from the last challenge ("Let's see your stupid DOUGHNUT be a construction crane hook!") and hurled it at the squeaky voiced man. There was a high-pitched "Ow!" followed by a loud _thump_. Stevie did not move. Anthony's eyes widened, and, (completely ignoring Stevie's plight) cried out "DUDE! You told Stevie to stick a knife up my a** last night?!" Still seething, Ian threw back "Well, DUH! Your stupid candy cane could NEVER beat my awesome Pink Frosted Sprinkle DOUGHNUT." Anthony practically turned red with rage. "Oh yeah? Well, you clearly haven't realized it yet!" In order to not look weaker, Ian just glared, silent, though curiosity sparked weakly in his eyes. Anthony smirked. "You think I'd really like a lame Candy Cane better than Rock Candy, Burritos, Chili Pepper, or any of my other awesome fighters? WHAT DO YOU MAKE ME OUT TO BE?!" "…a…terrible person?" Ian asked, half confusedly, but calmly compared to a few seconds ago. "B**CH! I secretly enlisted the help of your GREATEST NIGHTMARE!" Anthony pulled a fake mustache off his "Candy Cane", and Ian gasped in horror.

 ** _"BARBER SHOP POLE!"_**

Ian screamed, scrambling away, staggering to his feet and turning to run for his life…only to trip over one of Stevie's legs protruding from under the spilled bricks, and falling headfirst into the pile. He started yelling in panic, and his legs were seen kicking around, until they eventually went limp (in suffocation). Anthony laughed maniacally and moved to high-five the Barber Shop Pole, but instead, it whacked him in the head. Anthony fell, swearing. "I DON'T HAVE HANDS, IDIOT!" it boomed.

"Anthony!" an excited announcer came running up, but stopped short when he realized both of the Smosh friends were dead. "…u….uh….well, B-Barber Shop Pole! I guess…you've won Food Battle 2015?

W-What are you going to do now? The pole was completely silent for over 10 minutes, while the announcer nervously fiddled with his microphone, too afraid to speak. "************* Ian's Future Wife" It said calmly. "And you're coming whether you like it or not." The announcer yelped. "I-I think I'll pass…." "Fine" The pole replied. "Really?" The announcer asked happily. The pole whacked him in the ****. "Yep."

 **Smosh Fans – I'm sorry, I had to.**

 **Smosh (if you read this in your videos) – PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!**

Please Note: This Facfic was written before Food Battle 2015. I know this probably is not gonna happen in the actual video when it comes out. (As in, definitely not happening)


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